Moves Toward Improvement

So, after many months of therapy, and a bit of the good old SSRIs, I have been noticing some differences in my behavior. For so many months, maybe years, I have been having a very difficult time just getting up in the morning. Now I don't mean the normal, need my cup of coffee (although sometimes I had that also).

-Seriously, you can never have too much respect for people who can make latte art-

I mean a total lack of desire to become active in the world around me. Even with things I really enjoyed doing, I would have an incredibly hard time making my way out of bed. Sometimes I would just spend hours lying awake.

-This is the brony way of expressing how it feels-

And all that would go through my head were terrible thoughts.  Sometimes how I'm better off in bed, because that way others wouldn't have to deal with me. Other times, I would berate myself for not being able to do something as simple as getting out of bed. And sometimes my thoughts would go to darker places. But, for the first time, in a long time, I have been consistently able to get out of bed in an appropriate amount of time. More than that, I have been getting tasks that I have been procrastinating for a long time done. I spent several hours cleaning my room (which was in desperate need).

-legitimately, It probably would have been faster to use a pitchfork to clean my room

I went through 2 full trash bags of assorted crap-

 I got some paperwork that I have been putting off done. And I am trying harder to be more consistent with blogging, which my therapist says will be very helpful for me. As a whole, I can really feel my life becoming better, and I hope that I will continue to make improvements. Because for the first time in a long time, I really feel hopeful for myself!

-If you understand this reference..... Will you marry me?-